Some time ago, my roommate brought up the idea that maybe it's a mistake for parents to tell their children they can grow up to be anything they want, because when they grow up and realize this isn't true, they become disillusioned and (I would add) maybe even resentful. Would it be better if your folks skipped the optimism and let their kids decide for themselves what was possible and, by extension, not possible in their futures?
Most if not all people reach that conclusion on their own eventually, and at least superficially this seems a profoundly anti-American idea. After all, our media is full of stories where people overcome the circumstances of their upbringing to succeed in the world and grow rich and/or famous in the process. Movies are made about their lives to inspire the parents of the next generation to continue the cycle.
But what about the (vast) majority of people who don't? What if those same people who strive would strive regardless of what they're encouraged to believe as kids, and those who settle for a decent life quietly lived staring up at them would be happier as adults without ever having the possibility dangled in front of them, just out of reach in a future that will never come? Would we be better off both as individuals and a country without the expectations?
Well, I can't quite believe that.
While it's true there was plenty of innovation and economy prior to the very idea of America, much of it was relatively anonymous or to the credit of the aristocracy at the time, and it's more than luck that drives America to still be the dream for countless people all over the world. The promise of America lies in its ideas, foremost among them that you can do what you set your mind to do. Whether that involves working a farm or starting a media empire, we believe the opportunity is there, even despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary.
And if we as a people ever stop believing that could be us on the TV screens or in the White House, America is likely to become a far darker place, because the impulses and moods kept in check by that hope have been decidedly uglier since at least Vietnam. Fear, paranoia, and a will to dominate are dangerous in any country, but as armed as the U.S. has been and will remain, woe to the country that eclipses us in the future. We're going to need to hold onto our ideas and ideals because they're the most effective weapon we have against our own darker natures.
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2 comments:
My parents brought me up to believe that I can do anything I want. It was and is still true. The "disillusionment" you mention could come from making decisions that make future decisions out of your own control.
pgoetz
I think children do have the opportunity to be anything they want to be-baring any physical limitations, etc., i.e. a blind person could not become an astronaut. I don't know that we need to say to our children those exact words, but instead encourage them and help them along the way with any idea they have. I think it’s much worse to tell a child that they have limitations. We don’t truly know what children are capable of. To set the limitation before they get a chance to develop, is a mistake that a lot of people make. I believe the truly ambitious will always achieve what they set out to, but I think the best advise we can pass along is: Be careful what you wish for, because it may just come true. I agree with you that without the hope and belief that we can be whatever we choose, this world would be a very cold and bleak place. I also agree with Phil that the choices we make in life will dictate the path we follow. If you truly want to do something, you will find a way to make the path go in that direction. If something blocks the path, think about what the reason is, and remember that if it’s meant to be it will come easily.
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